Category: philosophy/religion topics
I've been reading a great deal about headcoverings, the hanging veil in particular. I don't know why it's important for a mystic like myself to adopt this practice but somehow it makes sense. All I know is I started wearing long dresses, not Amish just long, and couldn't explain that either. Are there ladies here who coverr and wear dresses only, Christian Muslim, Hindu? I'd be interested to know what it's like being a covered blind woman. I don't like standing out as it is but we all know you can't ignore that still small voice. Tiffany
hi tiffany
i don't feel comfortable with the head covering, because it messes up my hearing. I do wear long dresses. Not the little house on the prairie kind but stylish long ones. also i keep my arms covered for the most part. my legs are for my husband to view. i do have a few knee length but don't like wearing these much. i feel more womanly in the long ones. i also don't wear make up for religious reasons. you know the vanity thing and so forth. however, i'm a hippocritter because i love jewelry and do wear that. so bite me.
Hi. I am Muslim and wear the head covering and long dresses that go down to my feet. Sometimes, I also wear the face veil. In my religion, the head covering and loose, modest clothing is required, but according to which school of thought you follow, it is not required to cover your face; however, some say it is. I usually just cover my head though and wear loose clothing, such as a long dress that doesn't show my figure and has long sleeves. I find that it doesn't affect my hearing much, I guess because I got used to it. I have been wearing the head covering (hijab) for a little over 2 years now.
Hello, dear ladies. Thanks for bringing up this subject.
I dress modestly, as well. Long, loose dresses. I have them sewn for me, because I have such trouble finding anything suitable in stores. I feel so much more comfortable in my own skin, now, so much more like myself, if that makes sense.
I wish I knew how to sew, because I'd be very interested in making my own clothes, if I could, and making clothes for other people. *sigh*
My reasons for dressing this way are not religious ones, I am simply more comfortable, and I've always felt drawn to do so.
My mother, who rarely sees me in person, hates it, btw. She's always asking why I don't wear more modern clothes, and makeup. "You would be so much prettier if..." is a common refrain, from her. This is distressing, to me, that I should be criticized, at my age, for something so personal. And, as hard to understand as it may be to anyone else, I do not dress to call attention to myself.
I am rather interested in covering my hair, but I wouldn't know where to begin, what to buy, and how to do it.
There's a community on Livejournal called modest_style, and they discuss modest dress options and headcovering, and often post useful links and tips. Some of it is in picture form, just to warn you. But it's maybe worth bookmarking.
I'd be glad to know any other sites or discussion boards any of you have found to be helpful, and I'd be happy to share the links to the places where I've bought dresses.
Oh, funny thing, but it was quite a revelation to me, when I began wearing dresses all the time, that cotton dresses are *much* cooler in the Texas heat than blue jeans! LOL Since I never wore anything but jeans for casual clothes before, I didn't know. I can't believe I suffered through so many summers, unnecessarily!
Someone mentioned Amish dresses. I'd probably wear cape dresses, if I could let go of that last bit of discomfort, because I know how strange I'd look to other people! I guess I'm not that brave, yet. I periodically look at them longingly on Ebay, though.
Very interesting topic and I too would like to hear what all of you have to say. I don't wear dresses or skirts of any kind, head scarves or makeup. It's just a personal preference. I usually wear jeans, shorts or regular pants for casual atire and suits when dressing formally. But I do, of course, where hats and hoods when the weather is cold. I find that, if I'm walking with my cane and not with a sighted guide, it really distracts me because of the change in hearing. Normally, I can hear very well, but when things are muffled, it's difficult for me to focus on where things are etc. So how do you girls do it?
Hello ladies, thank you for all your thoughtful replies. There are many headcovering groups on yahoo,a search will bring them up. 2 links that will help in your headcovering search, www.modestclothes.com thoseheadcoverings.blogspot.com. Sometimes we are lead to do strange things. Yes I too know the condescension that will fall upon me when I visit my folks next. I was called Amish for wearing a little black triangle of lace on my head with a modern looking dress. Oh if she saw me now. We're all adults and don't owe anyone an apology. Funnily enough the reasons behind why niqaab is encouraged were a relief to someone like me who cannot see at all. The reason being that with your face covered you'd need someone to guide you anyway. I also discovered the cotton dresses in the summer trick, what a difference it makes especially when humid as well as hot. I wonder why headcovering and modest dress make people so uncomfortable, and down right angry? To hear some feminists talk the headscarf should be banned for all nations for all time. You gotta respect a gal who'll wear a black abaya in desert heat. To the Muslim ladies I apologize for any misspelling. I'm thinking I'll get a capedress at some poitnt just to see what they look like. I like the idea of having an apron on to be ready for any kind of work. How do you wear your hair under the veil? Most say just put it in a bun. Tifanitsa what's got you curious? For someone who never wears dresses I could see the fascination. I've gotten used to being thought strange and from 100 years ago. I find it a complement. Wear the covering if you feel called, no matter what religion you are. If I turn anything else up I'll post it here. Blessings. Tiffany.
I think that the problem isn't so much with women choosing to do it, though I guess some would find fault with that, but with cultures which force women to do it. It's always good to have the freedom to make your own choices, particularly when they're such personal ones.
Eleni
please please send along any helpful websites for how to get the kind of dresses we like. i'd be most interested.
People feel uncomfortable because our modesty points out to them that they may not be.
I think God is more concerned about what we do than he is about what we wear. I don't think people should dress according to the bad behaviour or attitudes of others. It is up to those who see women as sex objects to change their attitudes.
Here's what would make me uncomfortable, to be honest: it's the association with extremist groups and stonings, etc. Irony, because on this very site there's a whole board dedicated to impressions given by blind people.
Well, the trouble you face is the same as the trouble someone faces who does 'socially awkward' things:
people associate it with extremist behaviors like the forms of violence expressed on women all over the world, so really I guess you can blame the extremists.
Also many of us would not expect a woman could do as modern women can, e.g. basic running around carrying stuff or whatever, in what women have said is binding or restrictive attire. Yet again another impression. Just apply all principals expressed on that other board to this and you'd see how people come up with their conclusions. Good luck with it, because you're facing off with the same: an image problem. I would guess as soon as someone knows you made the choice and it wasn't foisted upon you, and that you could do like everyone else (if you all were working outside, say), then people - most anyway - would be fine. You might just get tired of having to give the same explanations over and over, but at least knowing that's part of the get-up.
turicane,I'm happy to help, ok. www.liliesapparel.com www.gracefulthreads.com www.thekingsdaughters.com www.asliliessewing.com www.mennonitemaiden.com www.covered4him.com www.headcoverings.com www.prayercoverings.com www.christiancoverings.com www.plainlydressed.com www.worksoftheheart.com most of these are made to measure seamstresses. They're very happy to make sure you get the right fit. Modest doesn't have to mean frumpy.Happy shopping! If you order from any of these sites do post a review, fit of the clothes and how the customer service was. I haven't ordered anything from these sites but these are in the top ten of modesty listings on ladies blogs and such. www.modestclothes.com has links to sites with clothes for Muslim ladies. If I find anything else I'll post it here. You know I've noticed that people make fewer remarks when I'm covered. I've been told I'm intimidating and also that I look like a queen. I wear lace trimmed hanging veils and braid my hair. It ties in nicely with the idea that a blind lady may be more religious than most so in my case it works nicely. I can't speak for anyone else. I've noticed the girls round here don't come to meeting in short dresses anymore. I didn't say a word to them.Yep, definitely understand the feeling uncomfortable part, before I got pulled on by the spirit I felt pretty weird round the ladies at meeting. The gals were just too nice and the food and fellowship were wonderful. If Bruce has a job out of town they look out for me, we live in a pretty rough neighborhood. Being peculiar can help our witness, not always but it sure reveals repentent hearts, it worked on me. Tiffany
So Robozork, would it be fair to call Muslims who wear veils and other clothing that covers their hair or face socially orkward Muslims? I've never heard that term used to describe any group of people, but if socially orkward means that people feel orkward about socialising with veil-wearers, I think there may be a case for that description regarding Muslims.
tifany thanks so much for the list of modest sites. I'll let you know what I find out
I just ordered a dress from jenclothes. com which should come today. They abide by the lds modisty lrules which are pretty much mine too.
here is a radical thought. Social awkwardness comes from within. If we are happy and pleased with ourselves and the presentation we give, then others feel comfortable around us.
You know that true beauty comes from within right? What we wear is just window dressing. If a person feels discomfort because I wear long dresses, then I wonder how meaningful and productive a friendship would be anyway. If I'm worrying that my boobs are hanging out or my sitting is not modest enough, than I am not paying attention to my list4ener. I am concerned with things that are really not worth bothering with.
Just wandered in on religious topics today, hadn't checked it out before.
I accepted Islam some years ago. However I am a terrible practitioner & I have witnessed bad behaviors from so called religious people...not all of it here some of it behaviors like the Moscow subway murders & the murders of children on a bombed schoolbus in Algeria, so I no longer cover my hair.
Truth be told I think it is possible to attire oneself modestly w/o covering the hair, and some Muslim women vail their hair on the same mindset of a guy who takes the "No shirt no shoes no service" sign in a restaurant much too literally...he is going to wonder why w his privates exposed he isn't getting any service.
Covering one's hair serves no purpose, IMO, if the woman is in form fitting clothes that show her every lb or drawing attention to her face/nails with makeup and nail polish or wearing such a heavy scent you can smell them first. Also serves no purpose if the woman has an aggressive ,boorish demeanor.
If I were going to complain about a lack of womens rights in the Muslim world I would forget about veils and separating the sexes in the mosque (also done in Orthodox Judaism) and protest big time about the execution of children (Yemen Iran), throwing acid in the faces of women who decline marriage proposals (India, Pakistan),, honor killings that are even taking place in St Louis & Dallas.
I am at a place right now where I attempting to dress more modestly. I don't believe I'm called to completely cover at this point, But I am at least a lot more aware of the clothes I wear (I don't think I have any shorts of skirts that go above my knees, for example).
In terms of the headcovering, I only wear one in church. I don't like the mantillas that they have by the door so I bring hats from home.
CM
I thought I would bring this topic back up because I have decided to try wearing skirts/dresses full-time. I am not so concerned with the length, as most skirts/dresses above the knee feel very immodest to me. Has anyone else worn skirts full-time??
Also, how about modest bathing suits? Anyone find anything that isn't so exposing?
Kate
Hi Kate, happy to help out here. I wear dresses full time and leggings underneath when the dress is too short for my liking. After the first six months or so people will stop asking you why you dress like that. As someone above said if you're happy with the way you dress and you have a confident attitude your dress will highlight those facts. We are accounntable for our own soulls noone elses. Lilies of the field offers a modest bathing suit. You can try also www.wholesomewear.com and www.modestapparelusa.com even www.lydiaofpurple.com if they're still in business.www.sewmodest.org has a list of made to measure seamstresses who do sewing for reasonable prices. If you must pay attension to strict economy try www.theplaydress.com A search for modest bathing suits may bring up a site not mentioned here. You might ask the muslim ladies here where they got their bathing suits if they swim. I'm on the hunt for one myself so completely understand. Good luck with the trial run. I hope you get what you need from it. Tiffany.
I have a couple problems with totally covering, and this is based on experience. It isn't just about covering your head, but about loose fitting, long sleeved clothing, not form fitting, not drawing attention to yourself with perfume, makeup, nail polish. It should represent clean living. We about cracked up when we saw a Muslim woman in hijab, from the Arabic root word 'hjb', to cover, smoking a cigarette.
You have to find a female hairdresser who will either cut your hair in an out of the way place, like a basement, or close the blinds of her shop while she cuts or styles your hair, and this is no easy task. People make ASSumptions about you based on what they see, and every one was made about me from I must not speak English to I must be on food assistance. Probably a number of covered Muslim women pay the man with vouchers, but this is a separate issue.
The French government doesn't permit modest bathing suits. Something about microbes that get trapped on the material contaminating the water. Finding a health club womens' only that has a pool could be a solution to the modesty question.
IMO there has to be some happy medium, both for men and women, between covering everything short of the eyes or dressing like a previous century to just letting it all hang out. Hijab to me just isn't that happy medium. But to pray in a mosque one has to be properly covered, and this I understand. There are all in one prayer cloaks to be put over one's street clothes to accomplish this. Anyone interested in stuff like scarves or less revealing clothing, there is www.alhannah.com, based in Connecticut.
Thanks for the help! I will doublecheck those sites.
I have found that I enjoy wearing skirts more than pants or shorts, but I refuse to completely ditch my pants/shorts.
Hi, again. (I'm Miss Prism, I posted above, btw. I lost login details, so am now using a new name.)
My favorite is Vessels of Mercy:
http://www.finitesite.com/vesselsofmercy/newdressshop.html
The prices here are much lower than anywhere else, although there are fewer options. But her site is simple, and not as overwhelming as some of the others can be.
The best procedure is just to call her, and ask what fabrics she currently has, although you can send your own fabric, too. She asks for measurements, not size numbers, and so you will likely get a better fitting garment.
The dresses she's made for me are expertly sewn, and are an absolutely perfect fit.
I've also bought a couple of dresses from The King's Daughters. These were well made, but for me personally, the proportions were a bit large, even though I selected what should have been the correct size. I'd still recommend them, because another person's experience may be different. I'd be gladd to correspond off site, and describe the particular dress styles I bought. There are descriptions on the site, but sometimes it's hard to envision what a dress actually will look like, even so.
Thanks to the one who posted about modest bathing suits. I don't like bathing suits that expose most or all of my back, or those bikini-type 2-piece ones, so it's really hard to find a bathing suit I would be comfortable wearing whenever we look around at a local store. Now at least I know there are bathing suits out there that I wouldn't mind wearing. *smile* We got lucky when we found a shorts bottom and a sleeveless but not-too-low-cut top. But I've had it for several years and the elastic in both parts has already worn out. So now I can look into the sites mentioned in post 17 and similar posts, for a possible new one. Thanks. *smile*
Hi everyone.My birthday present to myself was some simple al-amira hijabs. They're comfortable without being overwhelming and I've yet to get any nasty comments. I usually get oh, that's cute. Alhannah has some lovely pieces. One thing I've noticed while wearing the hijab for some reason I feel bolder and more confident. I get much fewer comments about being blind. I'm more careful of what I say and how I say it. I think there can be a happy medium for western hijabis. Cover everything and be as good as you can and offer dua for the rest. Hijab fore me has been a makeover of the spirit not just my wardrobe. I love hijabi fashion blogs. Those gals have some serious flair. I love that people talk to me not my scarf or my stick. Tiffany
I think the issue here is it's "different" to dress modesty. We live in a world where evil is considered good, and good is looked down upon. Standing out makes one different, and being different seems to sometimes offend people. I think modesty is extremely important because it draws attention to "who" we are, rather than what we are. I do believe though that one can be modest and still dress modernly, though I recognize that is getting harder and harder to do. Society's standards are dropping subtly every year. I think the most important thing to do is examine owr own personal reasons for remaining modest. So many people focus only on the letter of the law that they forget about the spirit behind it.
Tiffany,
I bought a bathing suit from www.wholesomewear.com. Since I don't go swimming that often, I figured I could hold out until they had their winter sale, so I got mine at 40% off. I got their coulotte swimmer. It looks rather old-fashioned, but I can swim freely without feeling like I am showing everything off. The sites I have seen that have been unfavorable to these suits do mention looking a little different (so what?) but that the fabric would be heavy (which it doesn't).
I am still wearing skirts most of the time, though on weekends I tend to dress down and wear jeans. :) Since I have gotten my gym membership back, I have been working out in the ladies only section, and my gym clothes are fairly loose anyway.
No news on the headcoverings for me - I still don't feel the need to cover full-time.
Kate
Hi everyone. It's been a long journey for me. I accepted Islam about six months after I started wearing hijab. I am slowly learning and coming to new understanding everyday. On the amira hijabs though I have found they don't work for my face shape and take away rather than add to my appearance. I wonder if there is a dua for those who suffer in other Muslim countries. If there isn't there should be. What is a good next step, the pagmina sounds too boxy but I think I could pull off the right shayla. I was correct when I said my mother hates how I dress. I didn't tell her of my reversion because that would freak her out even more. I ran for a reason, long before I knew any of what I do now. I want to please Allah and my husband and the rest can bite me. I think hijab is different for everyone. What's prettier a sari or the right abaya. Thank you. Tiffany
I'll never understand this fascination with headgear.